Thursday, February 24, 2011

no long term repercussions

weakness. where does it start?
let's start with emotion. perhaps easiest way to influence a person
is to utilize the emotion. when you try to convince others, you try to play
with their emotions. you try to find out what makes them tick. you try to find
out how to get their sympathy. everything else follows.

however, it's not weakness through emotions. we all have the right
or perhaps the responsibility of inquiry to whatever is presented to us.
it's a matter of choice. weakness comes when you let them play
with your emotion and omit the usage of your mind. in the end, you've just become
a tool. when you try to realize the things, it's all too late. the die has been cast.
at the end of the day, you thought you have acquired something, you think you've
done something great. it's all because you're clinging to something that you think
will be your foundation, or perhaps rigid feel big because you think someone thinks like you or someone has the same sentiments as you do. but in the end, you're just a tool.

because of this fantasy, you feel big over something or perhaps someone. you hurt someone
just because you thought you were right.

you become weak. you are weak.

learn to stand on your own but also see where you are standing. learn to inquire. learn to make choices.
sometimes, you have to clash with your own friends to make them realize what is right, because not all of the times, they are.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Birthday babbles

First, I would like to express my apology for fooling everyone on facebook :D.
Oh yeah, that prank about Nov.10 being my birth date. hahaha

Then, I would like to thank everyone who greeted me on my birthday.
Almost in all the corners of Ateneo, people greeted me.
It seemed just like an ordinary day.
There wasn't much during that day but I really appreciate all the greetings.
Also, thanks for the hugs, especially to that surprise tight hug given to me when
I passed by an office at the elevated space of Xavier's manor ;))

Thanks to the Manila people who gave me early text greetings (PKand myangLigaw)

Thank you to my colleagues at The Office.
Special mention to Jaycee, for giving me a wonderful surprise.
I can't stop smiling after I saw it on facebook, my jaw ached. hahaha

Thanks to my IT buddies, who greeted and met me with warm

Thanks to Jane who kept me company thru text while
I was watching movies in my dark room.

Thanks everyone!


Have you ever felt mentally and emotionally tired?
I did.

It's just the kind of feeling you get when you try to achieve your own happiness.
Happiness is almost at your reach but you should be aware that there are risks,
and there are other people involved.
whenever you try to risk, you realize two things:

1. be happy while the others are not
2. relinquish your happiness so that others may be happy

In some cases, you're trying to achieve something that's the same goal as other people are trying to reach and I always get stuck with the choice that I'll let them get it.
There are a lot of strings attached, you can't move freely as you'll be affecting others
in the process. I always let others be happy first before myself, and the thing is I can endure the loss
because I can support myself. But, am I already giving out too much? It makes me wonder when I can claim mine and not care about others anymore.

There's always a sacrifice involved. But whenever I think about it, my principle
would always tend to go with letting go. For the past few days, I kept thinking about it.
It bothered me so I needed space and time to think (aside from watching Season 4 of Prison Break :D).
And then, there it was, all the answers just poured in, like a shower of new ideas from the heavens.
Too much ideas though that I'm seeming to enter a portal of endless, unrealistic possibilities.
Then finally, there was silence.

In the end, I did not find any answer.
I decided that I'll just cross the bridge when I get there.
And for some weird reason, the heavy feeling just went away.
It felt so light. I felt rested.

But, I'm still open to possibilities.
Come what may. :)